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Identity: Conkers.

History: Brought into the UK over four centuries back.

Appearance: The outdoor world's collectible doll.

No, I don’t think that’s right. It is. Go and watch a TikTok video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll probably hear them refer to it as “nature's Labubu”.

Opening up horse chestnuts? What on Earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you really are out of the loop, aren’t you? Gen Zers are taking to TikTok to record videos removing conkers from their prickly shells.

But why? Due to the sense of wonder! When you unbox a conker, you never know what you’re going to get. Could it be large? Might it be flattened? What will its shine level be? It is similar to a surprise package every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re somewhat eerie dolls that have become highly sought-after because they also come in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform the younger crowd that they’re not using conkers correctly? Are they? How do you play with horse chestnuts, then?

Thread a lace through the center, and try to break others' nuts. Wow, really? That’s bizarre.

Yes. You’ll have a much better chance of winning if you leave it in vinegar and then bake it like a pie. Seriously?

Seriously. And should you gather an excess, you can hurl them across the playground and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A lovely item from nature like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a lengthy list of complex and confusing guidelines?

That's the custom! The King recently awarded the global conker competition with three hundred horse chestnuts! At least gen Z is only filming them.

How are you unaware of this? Probably, because certain schools prohibited the game two decades ago, due to concerns over well-being.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe revealing horse chestnuts just isn’t your thing. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other popular youth fads.

Is that so? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called yarn work, and something else called pottery that I can describe for you.

Those hobbies are ancient! Let me guess, you boil the needles in cider and then use them to jab one another?

No! OK, calm down. I assumed that all old-people traditions involved some type of aggression, after that horse chestnut game.

I feel stressed. Take a breath. If you need me, I’ll be opening plant seeds online.

Appropriate comment: “Social media loves showcasing nut discoveries.”

What to avoid: “That's crazy.”